Denial
by Gaelcelt
Summary: Bulldog finally gives up, not wanting more fatigue of keeping a shameful secret. Slash.
1. Default Chapter

These characters are not mine. Just wanted to go through the procedure. 

Dan Butler, who plays Bulldog, is gay in real life. This is just a play on things.

Denial

"_Forgive me, Roz... I shouldn't have harassed you like I have... I, Bulldog Briscoe, have tried so hard to deny it, but it's no use anymore..."_

His tough, brash veneer was so well-established. Poor Roz suffered so much harassment from him... all of this because he'd been trying to hide his desire for Frasier.

"_Maybe I should tell them about this... but what would everybody say? I can just hear them whispering 'Bulldog's gay? He's queer!' How could I take that?"_

He'd liked sports so much, and still did. He was into going to the bars with the boys, to football stadiums, anything that the typical man would like. How could he be gay? He was a picture of masculinity. The trouble was when the guys came up with the conversation topic of their latest conquests. Bulldog winced at the memories with regret.

"_Oh God, how could I take the pressure? I was making things up on the spot! I couldn't even keep the story straight sometimes. I'd talk about banging this one chick and it would turn out that one of us knew her and he'd say that she was out of town or something. I am never going to forget those looks that they gave to me. Sure, they didn't say anything, but they looked suspicious..._

"_Frasier always seemed a bit gay to me...!"_ he mused, _"But he's slept around with so many women... there's no chance that we'd get together."_

He remembered all of the wisecracks that he used to say around Frasier, to get his attention. He just brushed them off, but he did hold a bit of anger... since he felt uncomfortable admitting these feelings for Frasier, let alone facing them, he took to going after women... and Roz was the main woman that he saw during the day, so she became a target. He drove her nuts, inevitably...

"_Forgive me, Roz... I wish that I had just faced my sexuality and left you alone, but I was afraid to admit them to myself... damnit! I wasted all of this time running away from myself and pestering Roz! Why? Why me?" _

Frasier. He'd longed to bury his face deep into Frasier's chest, to feel those arms passionately embracing him... those soft, supple lips to kiss his own... but it was hopeless. Many nights, he'd imagined Frasier beside him in his bed... but it all faded in the morning.

"_I suppose that I should just give it up and start dating other guys instead of wasting my time a straight man and pestering a woman, neither of whom can stand me."_


	2. Chapter 2

These characters are not mine. Just wanted to go through the procedure

-----

"_All of these women! Why? Why have I slept with them? I just had to kept any unwanted focus off of myself, didn't I? It's no use now... I should have admitted it to myself long ago- I'm as gay as Gil Chesterton."_

Dr. Frasier Crane, he who has attempted to bed so may women, was through with covering up his true desire.

_"I'm amazed that they have not looked at me as such already!"_ he mused, a slight smile crossing his lips, _"I am not Bulldog's type of man, or dad's, for that matter."_

Edward, that older gentleman that his opera date had tried to set up with Martin...! Frasier still remembered that night with amusement, but secretly he felt jealous and frustrated.

_"It could have been me!"_ he thought morosely, _"I could have had a chance with a man that night! ...How can I go looking for men to date when I'm a public figure?"_

He thought of Gil, wondering if he was truly gay under his effeminate, catty mannerisms. _"That dream that I had of him coming to me, in that romantic bedroom, that tatoo on my arm... I tried to deny it, but that part of me kept coming back to me in dreams... and those countless flings with women... my efforts to convince myself that I was not gay have failed."_

Gil... would he be interested? He fancied the catty blond, but was it merely because of his availability as a gay male?

_"Great! Where do I go from here?"_ The thoughts of Bulldog that he often had came up again. The fantasies of Bulldog coming to him in the bedroom, wearing but a towel about his waist, smiling seductively at Frasier as he let the towel drop... softly and deftly approaching the Frasier's naked form on the bed...

He fought the thoughts back. _"No! I can't! What would he say? There will be a rise among so many people about this, and what would Bulldog say?" _

True. Bulldog was a tough, if rude, person, and he pestered Roz to no end. Bulldog had done almost everything short of force to get Roz to have sex with him. It agonized Frasier to no end. Here was this man that made him tremble, who made him burn, chasing after women.

A trembling breath shook him and he blinked back a tear.

"How? I'm the doctor and look: I don't know what to do for myself."

How would he find a boyfriend for himself without causing backlash?


End file.
